At the core of all Vignette’s projects is one thing–we help our clients connect with their employees. And we love what we do. So, in honor of Mother’s Day, we thought we’d flip it around a bit and talk about how to connect with your mom.
Step 1: Ask her what she wants or what she likes
Just like with employees, we find more success when we just stop, take a minute (or a few weeks) and really figure out what they want. I found out my mom doesn’t like lilies because the pollen makes a mess. Great, guess what? No lilies for mom. Roses, chocolate, candy, and a call all work. And some FaceTime with grandkiddos. Find out what makes her tick and don’t assume you know.
Step 2: Call her
That seems obvious, but call her and talk about what she wants to talk about. Oh, and if she likes to talk to you once a week, call her once a week, put it in your calendar. Plan it, make it happen, be consistent and reliable (it builds trust, you know). And letters and calls are nice, but it you can’t be there in person you know is even better? FaceTime. Everyone loves video.
Step 3: Listen
Ok, you called, now what? We all were self-centered kids, teenagers, young adults, etc. You know what that looks like? You talk about yourself, a lot. If you are fortunate enough to still have your mom around, ask her some good questions. Ask about when you were a kid, ask her about when she was your age, ask her about her friends, ask her about the last book or movie she saw. I love hearing my parents’ reactions to popular movies they have just seen; it makes me feel like we are close even if we are 3,000 miles apart. And it cracks me up.
Step 4: Apologize/Forgive
Yup, it’s like good relationship housekeeping, be humble enough to apologize for what you may have done and forgive her for how she may have hurt you. This might be hard, but she’s your mom so push through it. It’s worth it.
Step 5: Praise
Tell her she’s awesome. It’s Mother’s Day, heap some praise upon your mother. Being new to this parent game, my wife and I say often, ’this sh*t is hard.’ Guess what? I’m sure it was hard for your mom, too. Let her know she did alright.
And find out if she doesn’t like lilies, it’s shows you care.